Well, its amazing really. How much someone can walk into our lives and just make it worse. Someone left me a letter on my comp today and when i walked in and saw and and read it.  O geez...who am I kidding?  I mean this stuff in my life, i have to go through on my own.  My friends are there to help me (Shayna, Daniel, Samantha, Lindsey, Ankita...etc etc) and so are my family(Mom..and others..but yeah). but some things...are just meant to be done by me. 

This will be a powerful message if you get it....

-]<21571

I have sunken farther and farther into this depression of mine that i have.  So many things, remind me of other things. I thought i was gonna have to run out of the algebra room today.  Because of something that was said. I hope i never have to hear it again, i know it happens. but that just disturbs me bc of my family, and I came close to getting out of there. Another something that is bothering me...well..im not goin there.Somethings Just arent meant to be said on xanga....just need to be let out. I screamed so loud and so hard afterschool today that I hurt my voice for now. geez. people...people..people. I really need someone to talk to. Just someone to help me...through all of this crap in my life.   Just someone to talk to and help me feel better. Is that too much to ask?

My Mother told me not say my family stuff to anyone...I broke that once. I am not going to break it again. Something tells me that it is gonna get harder to keep things inside.  I know you are not supposed to...but this is mandatory. And I had a strange dream. If it comes true....I really am going to scream my freakin head off. Literally. I feel dizzy from earlier today.

For some people i know the 8th grade year tends to be the hardest on depression.  I hope that is true,bc if it isnt then im doomed. I feel paranoid. Everytime i turn around i feel like something or someone is talking about me. especially in algebra yday (monday). and in band on monday and today also.    What the heck can I do? Everything is really bothering me.  Just something around me screams to do something right. This is usually  when i get the inspiration to write another poem. That i really need to edit the one down there\/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/.

Since I got xanga, I have been more out spoken of myself. But its like Im being forced to not  be anymore. I cant say a lot of things....for some of which i want to hurt myself for. I FREAKIN NEED HELP.  I am afraid of things. right now and things to come.

Being able to know the future is such a burden sometimes.

Let me know what you people think on that subject. But dont reply if you dont know what I am meaning by that statement. If you know what it means...you can help me. It is kinda hard to explain.

Well... I better get goin...i have WAAAY too much time on my hands....so ttyl. Gotta finish an Independent Study (see Ms. Darr...I do my work ^_^)  

 -Kristi

hey,

    Whats new with you people? Nothing Much here, Im just being bored for now and about to go to church.  its the usual sunday for me. so iono what to do...BOREDNESS..
     *yawn* i am Tired. T-I-R-E-D tired. okay...yeah you can tell that i am having trouble finding things to talk about. I know somethings now....

Well lets c..My gma is depressed, My dad is getting out of goin to church, my mom wants to help them and me. and me aunt wants to help them and is helping me. and my brother is oblivious to all of this

I guess i will ttyl

bye

-Kristi